Worthless.

My son is the only reason I have to get up in the morning lately. I’m emotionally exhausted. Physically I am in horrible shape and the medications I’m on for PCOS make me sick. PCOS is a horrible syndrome or disease, whatever it’s being called now days. I’ve been having cramping all over my body, horrible back pains, fuzzy vision, and my memory stinks. I’ve been trying to find a job (in my career field) since moving here. It’s been almost five years. I’ve worked as a CNA, barista, and photographer. Trying to make my way into the entertainment business here is harder than I thought, even with my Bachelor degree in Entertainment Business and experience from Los Angeles. I don’t know what I’ve been doing wrong but my only success is being a mother. As a wife I am failing… He is so disappointed by my inability to get a paying job to help with the bills. I do work the weekends as much as I can. I pick up shifts photographing, which I absolutely love, but working for $9/hr when I have about $90,000 in student loan debt is depressing in itself.

My motivation is depleting
Since of self is gone
I’m so tied inside
My outside has become as sad

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