Anger is a beast that must be fought with love. The only resolution to this problem is understanding and patience. Or death.
On August 13, 2013 something happened. This event changed my life. For better or worse I am not sure yet. My best friend attempted suicide. I still remember getting the phone call at midnight. Dropping to the floor and the shock that seemed to stop my heart. I didn’t know if she was going to be ok, I spent most of the night on the floor of my bathroom. I was out of my Kolonopin, I couldn’t find my breath and my mind was racing. Pleading with CVS to fill a few pills for me until they could release my prescription from another store (I just moved). They couldn’t release any pills to me until morning. I’m sure I sounded like a druggie, but when you feel like that and are going through thinking you may loose someone none of that matters.
I have a history or major depression and anxiety, I need pills to function. This doesn’t make me a drug addict, they are all prescribed and I attend therapy regularly.
I’m writing through this experience. It’s the best kind of therapy. I write through all the surgeries, procedures, disagreements with her, and about our undying love. She is a big part of my world and I refuse to leave her side. No matter how stubborn she is or what the future brings. I am keeping her info as anonymous as I can. As I feel comfortable I will release details. But I will release my writings in the meantime.
Some things I write May be fuzzy or unclear, I cannot promise complete control as I have been having emotional difficulties. These sometimes cause me to go through extreme lows and highs. I’m fighting and I’ll be ok. I’m stronger than you know…