Life is a constant obstacle course. You work so hard to get to the top, the view is great and the air is fresh. But you must get down and face your obligation to move forward. And so the journey continues.
I had my surgery. RNY Gastric Bypass on the 6th. It was most definitely a brave and amazing choice to make for myself. I am doing fantastic with the help of my amazing husband and the love that just beams off of my son into my heart. I am walking this path, too weak for an obstacle course yet ;).
Feeling I need my mother and I am trying to convince her to come and help me on the journey. She lives in Costa Rica so it’s quite the trip as I live in the northern US. Wrote her an email tonight we will see if she has time to come.
I have been working on getting RNY gastric bypass since July! It’s been a process to say the least. The biggest hurdles were the psychiatric clearance and the insurance approval!
I haven’t had weight issues all my life. It started when I was 17 and the pounds just packed on by the time I was 19 I was over 200 lbs. I was terrified and sick all the time. I had many people, mostly family, with their opinions. I was diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance at the age of 20. I was put on Metformin and birth control. This helped me but also has made me so frustrated. I cannot live without these medications. In addition I have had to fight severe depression and anxiety.
I am beyond excited to have this new tool to help me with my health goal. I can get of Metformin which takes a toll on my body and I can feel better. Don’t judge people by their weight, it’s extremely hard to battle a disease that causes weight gain. I would workout for 2 hours a day with little result. Cut ALL sugar with no result. I’ve been to the Mayo Clinic for help and they have done all they can do… there is only so much that can be done with PCOS.
CHANGE IS COMING
My son is the only reason I have to get up in the morning lately. I’m emotionally exhausted. Physically I am in horrible shape and the medications I’m on for PCOS make me sick. PCOS is a horrible syndrome or disease, whatever it’s being called now days. I’ve been having cramping all over my body, horrible back pains, fuzzy vision, and my memory stinks. I’ve been trying to find a job (in my career field) since moving here. It’s been almost five years. I’ve worked as a CNA, barista, and photographer. Trying to make my way into the entertainment business here is harder than I thought, even with my Bachelor degree in Entertainment Business and experience from Los Angeles. I don’t know what I’ve been doing wrong but my only success is being a mother. As a wife I am failing… He is so disappointed by my inability to get a paying job to help with the bills. I do work the weekends as much as I can. I pick up shifts photographing, which I absolutely love, but working for $9/hr when I have about $90,000 in student loan debt is depressing in itself.
My motivation is depleting
Since of self is gone
I’m so tied inside
My outside has become as sad