Tag Archives: surgery

Parents.

After constant head circling anxiety I called my therapist today to explain what’s been going on. Or what happened while my mother came to “help” that is.

I had RNY Gastric Bypass on March 6, 2014. I have not been obese my whole life, I don’t eat more or different than any average sized woman. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 20. This was after gaining about 80lbs in a few months, I just blew up. With that came so much mental anguish. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I was foggy and I thought of myself as the funny fat girl, nothing special, not really. I used to be the pretty, funny, and talented girl. I didn’t know it or appreciate it then. The self confidence was natural and I strive to get that back every day. When I grasp it I fear it will slip from my fingers again.

I tried weight management programs, medication, exercise, acupuncture, therapy. I had very minimal results… maybe lose 5lbs than I have a week where I don’t exercise and it’s all back, then some.

I made the choice for myself and my sanity to go for weight loss surgery it took me about 8 months total to fill the qualifications and get insurance approval. I was on the lowest end of the obesity spectrum (where they consider surgery an option). It took a lot of work and now that I am about 6ish weeks out from surgery I am confident I made the right decision. I am down 20 lbs and ready to go outside and walk with my son. Damn it’s so cold outside still though.

I had a small complication, probably from the catheter, a kidney infection. I was taken by ambulance to the ER where I was fixed up. It took a few days but I got better. This scare got the surgery news out in the open on my side of the family. My mom was contacted without my permission and she booked a ticket here to “help” me.

I was abandoned by my mother three days before she was supposed to go home. It’s hard to explain. She is so controlling and will not hear anything I have to say she just completely shuts me out. I am nothing but a burden. I bring no happiness to her.

I attempted to contact her through text the night after she packed up and went to where I am guessing was my aunts house. No response. The morning of her flights departure I received a text “Best wishes. I wish you well.”

I have not heard from her since. To answer the question on your mind. Yes, she knew about the surgery and she was supportive. She was nervous but supportive. She was unable to be here when I had it done, as she put it “you had the surgery when it was not a good time for me, you know that.” She was very busy with her work. She owns a business in another country.

My therapist helped to put my mind at ease. I was given crappy parents. You cannot choose your parents. I am grateful for all the wonderful people I am blessed with. I love my dad to death, honestly. But he’s a whole other story.